Joel's Journey 5

It's been days and I've yet to take the next step. I really don't want to meet or find her. I just need the closure. To know why. I'm almost hoping she's dead, whenever I do search, so that I can just let it go.
Work has been slow, and I'm almost on autopilot when we finally close down. I quickly wipe and stack the stools before going to the microphone.

No I’m never gonna leave you darling

No I’m never gonna go regardless

Everything inside of me is living in your heartbeat

Even when all the lights are fading

Even then if your hope was shaking

I’m here holding on

I will always be yours forever and more

Through the push and the pull

I still drown in your love

And drink 'til I'm drunk

And all that I've done,

Is it ever enough

I’m hanging on a line here baby

I need more than if's and maybe's

Well come down from the highest heights

Still searching for the reason why

And now I know what it’s like,

Reaching from the other side

After all that I've done

Is it ever enough?

I will always be yours forever and more

Through the push and the pull

I still drown in your love

And drink 'til I'm drunk

And all that I've done,

Is it ever enough?

For all that it’s worth, is it worth it?

Cause more than it’s hard to desert it

For all that it’s worth, is it worth it?

How do we know without searching?

I will write you this song to get back what’s ours

Would that be enough?

I will always be yours forever and more

Through the push and the pull

I still drown in your love

And drink 'til I'm drunk

And all that I've done,

Is it ever enough?

For all that it’s worth, is it worth it?

Is it ever enough?

How could we know without searching?

Is it ever enough?

I hear two sets of applause, and look up and see Sonnie and Chuck both sipping a drink. He puts his down and grins. "So I hear you need me for something?"

I whip my gaze to Sonnie and she stares back, almost daring me to deny it. I can't.

Hopping off the stool, I walk over to the bar, grab the bottle and drink deep as Sonnie yells at me.
Ignoring her, I look at Chuck. "Do I need to ask?" I nod at the folder in his hand. "Or is that it?" The trepidation settles down my spine and I drink again.

He chuckles, and slides it over. "There it is. All the info you could ever want to know about her. For whenever you want to move on it, that is."

I slowly slide it over, my fingers tracing the edge of it, not wanting to open it. "How much do I owe ya?"

Sonnie chimes in "100.00 for that bottle I can't serve now!"

Chuck laughs and tosses her the Benjamin. "Nothing. I will bill the estate. Which we will really need to talk about soon. You are far richer than you were told before."

Ignoring him, I grab my bottle and the folder and walk silently out of the bar. I will deal with that other shit later. Right now... I've gotta process this.

---TBC---